Forget about having to buy those useless chili spice packets from the store. Say goodbye to wasting a whole day away preparing a meal that will be devoured in minutes. We metal-heads do, after all, have better shit to do, like….

bake a ton of Christmas cookies.

Okay, okay, that’s probably just me, but really. Sometimes you need a really quick meal, and baby, this is it!

As all you gamers out there would say, this chili PWNS!, and what makes it even more awesome is that it will be ready in SECONDS!! Another great thing? It can be done with nothing but pantry items. You won’t have to go to the store for this one, unless you absolutely cannot go without dressing things up a bit (which in my case, always happens). We’ll start with the bare basics here though.

What you MUST have to make chili, above all else, is chili powder. A close second is some sort of tomato product, be it a can of diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, or just a bunch of chopped up tomatoes. Most chilis are tomato based – the combination of the chili powder and tomato is what gives it the beautiful dark reddish/brown hue, not to mention it’s awesomely fantastic flavor. Ingredient #3 is one of two things – you’ve got to have either some sort of meat, or some sort of bean. I know there are chili connoisseurs out there that say chili has to have beans, or musn’t have any meat products at all.

Something like that anyway…

All I know is that if you have one, or the other, or if you want to get crazy and have both, it still TASTES GOOD, and that’s what we’re after here. Numbers 4 & 5 are givens for practically ANY meal, onions and garlic.

So, we’ve got 5 ingredients. Mostly pantry items, with the exception of the meat. Easy peasy.

The method is as follows: Saute the chopped onions and chili powder in olive oil until translucent. If you’re opting for the meat route, brown that first, and then add in the onions and spices. The meat most certainly doesn’t have to be venison. You can use ground beef, chicken, or turkey. Then, dump the rest of the ingredients in, and simmer until heated through. Make sure that you test for seasoning, and don’t be afraid of the salt (or pepper!) I’d start with a 1/2 teaspoon salt, and work up gradually if you need to.

Did you know that back in the day, salt was used as currency? It was that precious to people. Today all the processed and fast foods are LOADED with sodium, which has made us like deer in headlights whenever someone says, “Pass the salt.” Truth is, if we added as much sodium to our home-made meals as we get from our processed foods, it would be way to salty. We’re so afraid of it that we sacrifice, and subject ourselves to bland food at home. Don’t be afraid. Use the friggin salt. Don’t go totally nuts and add a crazy amount like 1 teaspoon per serving (THAT’s too much @ 1,760mg – USDA Guidelines recommend less than 2,300 mg daily, for people 50 and under), but for the love of metal, don’t be afraid of it.

Now that my salt rant is done, go ahead and enjoy your chili. Top it with raw onion, a nice smoky cheddar cheese, sour cream, cilantro, avocado. You can use all, or some, or none. It will rock your socks off.

Now that we’ve got the general method down, I’m going to get all fancy pants on ya.

As far as the veggie department, I added green pepper and corn.

Spice department, cumin and coriander were added to the chili powder.

To kick up that lovely tomatoey flavor, I threw in about a half can of tomato paste.

So, in total, we had onions, peppers, cherry tomatos, 1 can diced tomato, corn, ground venison, chili powder, coriander, cumin, garlic and tomato paste. It was divine. It was super tomato-y. Totally thick (who wants watery chili). It was NOT BLAND. I almost forgot the brown sugar! I threw in a teeny bit just to sweeten things up a bit. Think BBQ… all good BBQ has some brown shuuugahh.

My specific recipe for chili will be different every time, but the base is always the same. I hope you enjoy while, you BANG YOUR HEAD to some Dillinger Escape Plan. This chili is TOTALLY rockin’ like that. Farewell, Mona Lisa.. Hello Easy Chili!

Venison Chili Printable Recipe

What’s the one ingredient you must have in your chili?